Well, the Daily Post today prompted: “Tell us about something you’ve done that you would advise a friend never to do.”
It took me awhile to come up with something that I’d advise a friend not to do. After all, I’m of the “better to regret what I’ve done than what I haven’t done” types. So I was thinking, was it when I had recently graduated from UCLA and took at two-week trip to Oahu, Hawaii, with only$25 in my bank account and a credit card free of charge? Was it being willing to move to Mexico for a guy I barely knew? Was it putting off a long-term career in order to travel and explore the world? Was it….? No.
There are plenty of crazy things that I’ve done that others have seriously questioned and discouraged me against. Nonetheless, I think all my “crazy” behavior has only been a blessing in my life, allowing me to explore what many will never know. The thing that I DO regret, however, is very simple.
Do not, ever, buy three-inch platforms on clearance at Target when they buckle around your ankle, and when the heel narrows as it approaches the floor. This is not a good design for, well, survival.
Last year, late August 2011, I performed this exact abominable act. If you know me, you know that I’m super clumsy. That I barely do well in flats. That door knobs and walls often run into me. (And no, this is when I’m completely sober.) But I wanted to dress cuter.
So I put on said shoes, walking up the driveway stairs, knowing that I could barely walk in these damn things. I got to my car, took off the right shoe in order to drive, and went to my friend’s house.
We went to a couple of local downtown clubs. Ever so carefully, I even danced in the damn things, knowing that I was this close to “GAME OVER”. I was fine, I swear, until I abandoned the concrete for grass. I hate grass now. It was uneven. Non-trustworthy. Still, I trusted it. And then…
I heard a loud “crack” and I was sitting on the grass, holding my ankle. Shit. I was told an old wives’ tale earlier on in the life that, if it hurts, it’s not broken. I was wrong.
It took me six days to go to the doctor (hopping to the garage that night, where my brother had stored an old set of crutches, since I couldn’t put any pressure on my left leg). I didn’t have insurance. And I’m stubborn. I thought it would go away on its own, get better. It wasn’t until I learned that a broken ankle may have to rebroken (in order to reset it if it’s been healing incorrectly) that I decided to suck it up and go to the local emergency room.
Yes, it was broken. I had to wear a cast for 2+ months. I spent my 30th birthday in a cast and on crutches. I was already depressed about my third decade of life to begin with! And after, I had to go to rehab for my ankle at $150 an hour. For a pair of $4.99 shoes, it’s just not worth it. I still have problems with it. I don’t think I will ever be able to wear heels again without a sense of extreme paranoia. Poo on me!
So, yes, this is what I’ve done and would advise my friends never to do: 1) Never buy cheap ass clearance platforms, especially if you’re not apt to wearing high heeled shoes. And 2) If you have a penchant that a bone in your body is broken (especially something so important as your ankle), go get it checked out immediately, regardless of your insurance status. You can replace money, but you can’t replace your health or permanent ability to walk and run. 3) Just don’t make this mistake like I did. Be beautiful, be safe. Take care of yourself. Screw the status quo about having to wear high heels if they’re just not good for you!